There’s something very annoying about the religious views on homosexuality and what gay people dont like to admit it that annoying a lot of it rings true. Of course biblical crap is the exception, but many element strike a nerve which puts you on the defensive.
The western world in particular is locked in cicular debates on most aspects of homosexuality and sexual identitiy in general. All sides of the debate are to eager to label, catagorise and describe everything the makes up a personality and it is this societal misson which causes so many of the cul-de-sac debates we face.
NO SUCH THING AS GAY (but therefore there is)
To be blunt, a bloke like cock has nothing to do with acting like a nancy, or any type gender identity for that matter. There are people in this world who quite literally, and without meaning to be funny, say ‘I’m not gay but my boyfriend is’ or ‘I’m not gay but I sleep with men.’ Culture in the far east wholly reject the gay identity, it is a western phenomenon they see as a rule book on how to behave just because you are sexually attracted to the same sex. ‘Gay’ is very much a cultural thing, almost ironically a sterotype, and wholly in defiant of what the rainbow flag symbolises. No it’s not just about using all the pretty colours!
At one point the gay movement was about, to put it in Star Trek terms, infinate diversity in infinate combinations. Today the vision is much slimmer. Gaga Twinks, Bears & hetro copycats. I’m being cynical but the point remains. Coming out is about finding which trend to follow, it’s all about fashion and rules. Well not for me, I was too independant to realise I fit no mould, so I stopped worry about how to behave and just thought about how to keep getting cock!
Why any of this is relevant is simple. No wonder people still stay in the closet in an open society when their sexual desire seem to warrant a vast change in personality. The vast majority of society needs to feel like they are one of the flock, which ever flocks (always more than one) they choose to follow. Even us independants must have some sense of herd belonging is some areas of life. But to come out is to search for a new flock, and gay culture, like straight culture has become to conformative. Ok in theory no, but fashion wins the day.
This situation clearly allows much space for gay people to start doubting who and what they are. Trust me, you wont find that many gay people who agree with this, they will be defiant in claiming their anal pleasure gives them a genetic predispostion to be Gaga for divas. No, its a toally social phenomenon. BUT!!!!! it doesnt make it wrong, this behaviour is typical of any group in society. nothing about this behaviour is out of the ordinary. Hetrosexuality suffers the same problem, male and female gender identities despite the world we see before us remain stupidly rigid. It’s normal but something society should try to grow out of, as much as it can.
The need to belong is strong, and based upon misconception and insecurities any person who cares to much is pretty fucked. The battle to come out is easier the stronger the persons ability to express their individuality, most doubts form when group ownership cannot be achieved. Coming out isn’t so much one big step as it is a well prepared and gradual process, and its only when you have found support and belonging in an identity you are happy to establish that identifying youself as gay is no longer a big event. If you fail to get this or it breaks down doubt creeps in.
This is where the gay therapy guys come in because this doubt is so easy to feed on, Christains offer another group with clear (ish!) rules and unconditional belonging, exactly what the person wants more than anything and has already proven themselves to be a fool for.
Gay Therapy fails because of this. Liking cock cannot be blocked out by condemnation, it requires some kind of medication surgey and mental conditioning that goes way beyond making someone a part of your gang. The opposite is true as well liking cock doesn’t not mean any form of set of behaviours must or should apply to a person, theres no genetic dispositions here. This seems obvious but life really doesnt work this way and most people do not think like it.
Its a case of mental gymnastics and most of us on all sides getting in a tizz over man made nonsense on things we cant explain scientifically (yet). Because no one applies much logic to the situation opinions change easy and doubts are bound to set in, and whatever the issue manipulative people find fertile ground in doubt.
Pride is a word that can be easily used, but to a lucky some is a cherished word, telling the 2 apart is not easy because pride as emotion is louder and stronger than pride as an accomplishment. Gay pride is an accomplishment, if your are a shepard and not proud by osmosis. False gay pride is something you will hear every person trying to become straight. They failed to understand it, they subscribed to homosexuality, they didnt embrace their indiviuality. This again aint a gay thing. The same could be said of a true believer of a faith and someone who’s done it only because their society demanded it of them. It is the differences between those who have a distinct style and those who just follow the latest trends.
Pride it has took me a long time to see is vital for any male cock lover! It is the overcoming of the guilt any human has been programmed to feel about sexuality. It isn’t hard to imagine that doubters of their sexuality and homophobic or puritan people are people who feel guilty about any kind of sex. We all know about sex and guilt. There’s no way you can forever unlink the words sex & dirty.
For gay people it is double jepordy, and that is exactly why pride is so important. Pride is not about camping it up in a bigoted world…Thats a mix of bravery and stupidity. Not that I disapprove.
GENDER SEX & SEXUALITY
This is the crux of it. These 3 things have little to do with each other. It is where so amany problems including everything discussed begins and ends. It is where all answers can be found if we seek to understand them properly. There are 2 sexes + genetic mutations, there are currently an unknown amount of genders and sexualitites. Talking about LGBT people only complicates the matter further. The first step to bette runderstand is abolishing the terms masculine and feminine. They limit how far we can understand things by keeping us stuck in a mindset where gender corrolates to sex. They are the modle examples, meaning anything else must be an anomoly. Masculine cannot not explain nerds, jocks, chavs and emos at the same time, 1 is right and 3 are wrong. These terms are a based on more social rules that have no basis in biology. What men are vastly varies and the term masculine does not cover it and is both unless and unfair to all these pefectly normal people, too suggest they are less masculine and thus less male and/or hetrosexual. My guess is there’s probably around 25 genders, and many which are shared by both males and females hetor and homo, although I’m sure there are plenty exclusive to each group, but far less than we think I suspect – if we can get our head past thinking about sex when we talk about gender. The same basically applies to sexuality too there’s certianly half a dozen sexualities at the VERY least. The bigger question is are gender and sexuality catagorisable or a case of being place on some complex spectrum where gender sex and sexuality are the X.Y.Z axes? I think the latter.
COCK IS SIMPLE, LIFE IS HARD
What we like is easy to judge, and easier if judgements and rule aren’t cast upon us. Understanding who we are and why we are they ways that we are is something still beyond humanities grasp. We cannot pretend to know, only accept that it is complex, and what we feel sure on thus far is only the start of a long road. It basically comes back to how much scientists can learn about the mind. it goes beyond understanding the structure of DNA and that classic arguement of the gay gene. Understanding DNA does not explain how we understand and employ language and thus ideas. It’s a mammoth task ahead of those working in such areas, and only when we have a definative understanding of how the mind works can we hope to to be accurate and prove it.
Buts there’s plenty we can describe and with open minds that dont judge, pick favorites and apply subjective and ideologies. The obvious start is that people vary vastly. That the culture of countries dictate people behaviour and that we cannot truly say what is right or wrong. Morally perhaps, but on personalities which do not inflict harm upon people and only annoy the sensibilites of others NO. If there were definative rights and wrongs those values would be more universal. The fact that men kissing to say hello in france is normal, but in the Uk is totally gay is a good example. Better is the example that within the UK, calling each other babe & darling (hetro man to hetro man) is not deemed gay but to others is very odd. The differences in gender and sexuality performance vary very locally. These simple example are exactly what im talking about, they do change gender identity and clearly dont hinder or do hinder sexual identity. These 2 male behavior cannot both be decribed as masculine, and neither would be willing to demote themselves.
Gay identities are both genuine and farcical, as are most gender identities. Gay is a choice, admitting you like cock is a choice. You dont chose to like cock you simply realise that you do and opt to be honest about it and act on those instincts. Just like a boring wife always chooses to just lay on her back and wonders why her bloke has an affair. When we muddle up our identity with our sexual preferences we will torment ourselves and risk letting doubt creep in. If your following other peoples rules, as you see them, you will never feel like you are being yourself. The gay community leaves its self open to criticism and victimisation by carrying on traditional misconceptions about gender sex and sexuality. To be open and yet ignore patterns of conformity in the face so so called definative truths is a poor place to be in. The gay community basically needs the same basis as the scientific community, that doubt is the basis of all progress, rather than risking a quasi-faith on gay behaviour. The ethos is fine it just needs to be reaffirmed and for the words to mean exactly what they mean. But the need for belonging isn’t going anywhere and the herd doesn’t wait for the lost lamb. Shepherds need to get their act together and perhaps tell the sheep to embrace diversity more and think for themselves. I doubt humanity could ever grow up so much.